The Parallel Ahmadinejad

I’ve spent a substantial fruitless amount of time trying to understand why Ahmadinejad says things that he says, up until now! Recently, he said:

“In Iran we don’t have homosexuals like in your country (USA). […] In Iran we do not have this phenomenon. I don’t know who’s told you that we have this.” [Yahoo][NY Times][CNN]

Many thought he said that to gloss over the fact that homosexuals are executed in Iran. Many are wrong. I know why he says things like that. Read these quotes from him before I make my argument:

• We thank God that our enemies are idiots. (6 February 2006) [Source]

• The world is rapidly getting ‘Ahmadinejadized,’ if I’m allowed to make a joke. (20 November 2006 (Source(s): [Source 1], [Source 2])

• I went to a couple of real state agencies in my neighborhood and checked. Home prices have not risen at all where I live(About 6 months ago when home prices nearly doubled in Tehran.).

And, of course, my favorite:

• “I’ve been informed of a 16 year old Iranian girl who has created nuclear energy in her home with the tools she bought off the market.” I talked to her teacher. She is now a nuclear scientist. (Link to Video on youtube)

Why do you think that happens?

I have been convinced there is only one possible way to explain it. It’s called the “Parallel Universe Theory of Ahmadinejad“. The guy lives in a totally different world. I know it’s hard to believe but this seems to be the only sound explanation and scientific method says when there is only one possible explanation to a phenomena then there is only one possible explanation.

When you imagine him living in a parallel universe, his words start making sense. He says there are no homosexuals in Iran because in the parallel-Iran there are no homosexuals. Members of his cabinet and all the people around him( what a pity Wikiquote has no page on those guys) live in the same universe. Anyway, the parallel universe that he lives in has the following attributes:

1. has no homosexuals.
2. no inflation or price increase either.
3. no homosexuals “parallel” U.S.A
4. Homosexuality is a taboo in “parallel” Earth.
5. Homosexuals are not people.

How do they switch universes is unknown. Well, if there were more quantum physicists.

[Background: As I am writing this the Iranian government news is on and it's quoting Fox news to say Ahmadinejad's Speech in Columbia university was an absolute success. I am convinced that I ,too, am living in a parallel universe. Strange one too. ]